Sharing our knowledge.
MAY 27, 2016
BDSM.

A four letter word… Hesitation, bewilderment, fear, shame, excitement, references to “50 Shades of Gray” are some of the reactions I receive when I mention BDSM (or Kink) to others.


A few years ago I first started my journey into this fantasy land called BDSM. Playful kingdom of darkness and light. Heroes’ journey towards finding my own voice, authenticity and abundant pleasure… Breaking the barriers of well constructed societal norms and replacing them with the freedom of choice, artistic expression and personal growth.

What is BDSM you ask? The acronym stands for: Bondage & Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism.

FANTASTIC ADULT PLAYGROUND
BDSM is a vast playground that is only confined by your imagination and creativity. BDSM could also be compared to an element like water or fire. It could be extremely freeing, passionate, playful and pleasurable. Yet, since we live in the duality, it may also be harmful if approached incorrectly.

BDSM is a type of adult play that is creative, sensual and consensual, devious, playful and intense. Sexuality is not always part of BDSM, but when it is – it’s sexuality on steroids…

From my experience, BDSM has a potential to also enhance dimensions beyond physical – including mental, emotional and spiritual planes.

The following are more in-depth explanations of main components of the BDSM acronym as well as some of the excerpts from erotic stories written by me. This article also contains safety guidelines on keeping one’s adventures pleasant.

BONDAGE & DISCIPLINE

“…He was playing with the energy of this rope scene, slowly running it on top of her breasts, between her legs, brushing the rope against her throat.

Soon, she started going into a deep state of trans. Nothing else mattered to her – just the movement of his hands, sensation of the rope against her body, the touch of his chest against her back. The sensual energy was palpable. Her eyes were closed and so were his. As in a slow moving beautifully created melody, exquisite partnered dance…

She was sensing the energy of this spectacle – slow, sensual, deep, gentle and yet strong. He was a true artist. The artist of deep authentic contact, master of attentive connection.”


Rope. Various restraining devices… So many of us have fantasies about being tied up or, perhaps, restraining others. Inability to move could give “the bottom” (BDSM term for the receiver of the sensations/experiences) a feeling of confinement, connection or freedom to explore dark sides of their psyche…

So many wonderful and deviously smart ideas could be explored by a “top” (giver of the sensations/experiences) when the other is literally at their complete mercy {evil laugh}.

DOMINANCE & SUBMISSION

“… Open your eyes”, – he directed. She obeyed. “Good girl” he said with a smile. “Wow”, she thought to herself, “How dare he call me a good girl”. A Goddess in her was enraged. But she said NOTHING. A Prey in her seemed to enjoy this type of treatment…

“Open”, – he continued directing her. She opened her mouth in a total disbelief of her own reaction. He abruptly inserted his tongue into her open mouth and made her passionately suck on it, she felt a fire starting to burn inside of her. She longed to be controlled and hated it at the same time.”

He acted just like an animal. Passionately penetrating her mouth with his tongue, licking her, acting mad. His hand trying to get a hold of her breast. She pulled away. He strongly and passionately bit her lower lip.


Submitting to someone else’s will, surrendering, following directions. Many people subconsciously long to let go of control, open up to their inner desires, experiment with a power exchange.

Dominating someone else could be a powerful experience in teaching, leading, letting the other explore the darkest corners of their souls. Face their fears. Push through the inhibitions towards the light.
SADISM & MASOCHISM

“…He takes a flogger and gently plays with her body. Caressing her nipples, abs, thighs, labia, getting into faster and stronger rhythmical movements. She closes her eyes and takes all of the sensations in. He works with his touch, words and as a pinnacle of the experience turns on the vibrator.

She feels like she’s now swimming in a sea of strongly vibrating energy, the closer the vibrator gets to her clitoris, the stronger the waves become. Soon she’s submerged into a stream of extremely strong sensations. Moaning, screaming, turning into a human fountain.”


Sadomasochism doesn’t have to include strong pain. SM is a mutual exploration of sensation play that could be as light as a feather running against one’s skin, or as hard as a hit of a cane. Sensations may range in temperature, texture and impact.

Many people find that stronger sensations allow them experience higher states of excitement and pleasure as endorphins and adrenaline are released by their bodies in response to a strong stimulus.

ROAD TO AUTHENTICITY
Many of us were raised in a sex-negative, restrictive culture. Some of us are still associating sensuality with feelings of guilt and shame. We all have sexual fantasies that we might be afraid to act on, play we’d like to try, pleasure we’d like to experience.

Road to authenticity and freedom starts by allowing ourselves to be who we truly are. Exploring the deepest darkest corners of our psyche, processing strong emotions in a supportive environment, healing our wounds while being embraced and encouraged by our loved ones.


In my opinion, BDSM is one of the best playgrounds that allows to face one’s fears, experiment with various emotions and sensations, explore exquisite mind games.

BDSM SAFETY
SSC of Safe, Sane and Consensual is the key idea used in the BDSM community to ensure the play is pleasant and safe for everyone involved.

Safe means negotiating everyone’s boundaries (also knows as Yes, No and Maybe as they pertain to various activities, soft and hard limits), safe words in case the play gets to much for one of the participants. Physical, emotional, mental and spiritual safety needs to be everyone’s priority.

Sane means that all play needs to be undertaken in a sane and sensible manner

Consensual requires full consent of all parties involved prior to commencing the play/scene.

Did you like the article? Follow our FaceBook page to be the first one to receive news on future articles, Meditation Circle dates and other personal growth resources.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
ZhenyaEvguenia Cheinis is an Energy Therapy Practitioner who graduated from the World's Premier Hands-on healing program.

With 4 years of extensive healing training and experience, avid interest in spirituality, human relationships, psychology and sexuality Evguenia is passionate about helping others live happy and essence-filled lives. www.evgueniacheinis.com

FOLLOW
CONTACT

info@evgueniacheinis.com
416.222.5135